Mistakes Parents Make, Part 4

Our first response from an FBCH mom...

The first thing for me has to be the internet. The internet is the most wonderful yet the most harmful thing that has been introduced in our society. If it does not have NUMEROUS filters they are handing their child right over to Satan and his lies. My space is one of the most harmful and damaging items as you cannot see what is posted (said by or to your child) unless your Teen gives you access. It has never been allowed in our home and my kids have survived.

Parents do not know what they are reading, listening to or what they are watching (movies). Ask questions, pick up the book and read the back or skim through a few pages. Pick up the i-pod or at least let them know that if you find any questionable material, you will get rid of it.

Know their friends-who they are hanging out with. We always have the new friend over our house so I can find out a little more about them (their character and so forth). Why would we let or want our kids to hang out with people we know nothing about.

I know this is a touchy subject but why would Christian parents put their teen (the most venerable time of life) in a public school? I understand that sometimes it is a hardship financially but I do not think that is the majority. The school (and all of it's effects) have our children 7-8 hours per day. Besides the exposure and the general bad element of some teens, they teach our children contrary to everything we have tried to instill in them. It can put doubts in the minds of the already mixed up teen mentality. They will be taught evolution-have(outward) homosexual teachers-they will be taught how to disrespect their parents and adults from their peers as this is an epidemic in my opinion. Everything they will see and learn will be contrary to what is taught in the home-or at least what should be.

The parents are not showing their kids what a Christian marriage looks like. The parents are estranged to one another and that in and of itself can shake a kids security and safety about their own place and life. If the home is not a place of peace and safety-where you are loved-then they will look elsewhere. Peers can make you feel accepted-especially when you are going along with the gang-like doing drugs with everyone else. There is a saying that goes- THE MOST IMPORTANT THING A FATHER CAN DO FOR HIS CHILDREN IS TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER. Of course this goes both ways, but they NEED to see it. We must look like a bunch of hypocrites to our children. They see families fight and are torn apart and then walk in church and pretend. What does that say to them.

Parents and teens need to spend time together. Families don't even eat together anymore. It's a funny thing what happens when we sit down at dinner together. The conversation just starts (no TV on of course) and we are sharing and laughing and talking about our day without it being planned or forced.

I hear this a lot from parents-I don't have time for this-regarding dealing with their kids. "HELLO" they are your time-or at least they should be. For some reason they just don't want to be bothered-like it is someone else's responsibility to teach them and put in the time and hard work. They don't regard scripture enough and do not look at their children as a gift. I believe with all my heart that it is the most significant thing I will ever do-if I am successful in raising people who love the Lord and share their faith.

I also see women who do not want to do what God has called them to be and Husbands who will not lead. We are putting the cart before the horse when we try to teach and train these teens when we -their own parents - are a mess and not fulfilling the roles that God has laid out for us-clearly laid out for us. Where are the seasoned Christian saints telling and mentoring these younger women along? Why is it so hard to find men who will lead their families or just love their wives as Christ loves his church? How or why do we expect our teens to be any different than the world? Are we?

NO RESPECT! They have a complete lack of respect for adults. I have been disrespected before by my children but they were disciplined and it was made known that it was not acceptable-always! They have done it less and less over time the more consistent we are. It is tiring but commanded by us to train them up in the way they should go. I think the training applies to social graces, such as kindness, courteousness, respect for others and their property and so forth along with scripture.