The Offensive Gospel

I think I've figured out how to stream my sermons. Go to this link to hear "The Offensive Gospel", preached on November 18, 2007 at 8:30 and 11:00 AM. Let me know if you try to listen but have problems doing so.

NOTE: Click on "Sermon Notes" on the left for the stream.

You Should Always Say Grace, Just Not Like This!

Fear Chuck Norris

In light of the new Chuck Norris/Mike Huckabee ad below, here are some other well known and well documented facts about the great Kung Fu master.

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In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

Funniest Political Ad Ever

Hungering for the Word

Liu Zhenying is an exiled house church planter from China. I recently read part his autobiography. He is known by friends as Broter Yun. Brother Yun accepted Christ after hearing his mother tell him the gospel story. He had never seen a Bible. After his conversion, he began to pray for a copy of God's word. Here's what happened in his words:

"I went home, and every morning and afternoon I ate and drank nothing. Every evening I ate just one small bowl of steamed rice. I cried like a hungry child to his heavenly Father, wanting to be filled with his word. For the next one hundred days I prayed for a Bible, until I could bear it no more. My parents were sure I was losing my mind." (The Heavenly Man, page 28)

He goes on to describe how there was another man who owned a Bible but out of fear of persecution, had buried it in his back yard. God put it on this person's heart to dig it up and send it to Liu's home and thus, his prayer was answered.

I can't help but be challenged by the thought of a man fasting for one hundred days, praying for a copy of the Bible, when most American Christians own several copies and never read them. May our hunger for God's Word be just as great as Brother Yun's!

"Teach Us to Pray"

It's a real blessing to teach your children how to pray. But I encountered a new blessing last night: Listening to one of your children teach another one how to pray! As Brenda and Jesse were hanging out last night, Brenda told Jesse just what to say and he repeated after her word for word! He thanked God for mommy, daddy and the baby in mommy's belly. He also thanked God for missionaries, which he had no chance whatsoever of pronouncing, but he tried anyway. He wrapped it up with "In Jesus' name, Amen." There's a very real possibility that Brenda will grow up and make it her aim to lead her siblings to the Lord before Mommy or Daddy do! Of course, neither of them understand yet what they are saying, but if the habit is there now, the deeper meaning will come later. Hopefully, everything Brenda teaches her younger siblings will be equally beneficial!

Is Fred Thompson Pro-Life?

After reading his comments on meet the press, I'd have to say no. You can't claim that abortion should be legal in some states but not others and call yourself pro-life.

It is my heart-felt prayer that there would be such a revival in America that a respect for the sanctity of life would become the norm in both parties. Whatever your thoughts on the 2006 elections, we saw a definite increase in the number of democratic pro-lifers and that is a good thing!