Not My Letter

Years ago I read an interesting letter from a remorseful father written to columnist Ann Landers. I was not a father at the time, but I made up my mind that when I became one, I would never have to write this letter. It's pretty "heavy" stuff, but if it encourages someone to spend more time with their kids, here it is...

"Dear Ann,

I remember talking to my friend a number of years ago about our children. Mine were five and seven then, just the ages when their daddy means everything to them. I wish I could have spent more time with my kids but I was too busy working. After all, I wanted to give them all the things I never had when I was growing up. I loved the idea of coming home and having them sit on my lap and tell me about their day. Unfortunately, most days I came home so late I was only able to kiss them goodnight after they had gone to sleep. It is amazing how fast kids grow. Before I knew it, they were nine and eleven. I missed seeing them in school plays. Everyone said they were terrific, but the plays always seemed to go on when I was traveling for business or tied up in a special conference. The kids never complained, but I could see the disappointment in their eyes. I kept promising them I would have more time next year. But the higher up the corporate ladder I climbed, the less time there seemed to be. Suddenly, they were no longer nine and eleven, tyey were fourteen and sixteen, teenagers. I didn’t see my daughter when she went on her first date or my son’s championship basketball game. Mom made excuses and I managed to telephone and talk to them before they left the house, but I could hear the disappointment in their voices. But I explained as best I could. Don’t ask me where the years have gone. I can’t believe it. My job is less demanding now and I finally have time, but they are grown and have their own interests and they have little time for me. To be perfectly honest, I’m a little hurt. It seems like yesterday they were five and seven. I’d give anything to live those years over now. You can bet I’d do it differently, but they are gone now and so is my chance to be a real daddy."